User Profile

(5/9/2004)
Those who meet me and take the time to know who I really am find that there is much more behind my blue-green eyes, black clothes, 'creepy music', and quiet nature than they thought.

I am a man of many interests, a hellish past, and many skills. I am also fiercely loyal to my family and friends and would freely sacrifice myself in their defense, these people are what makes me the man I am now and without them I have nothing. When most people first meet me they either see me as my friends see me: in the middle of things making noise and laughing, or see me as I am alone or in a new place: in the darkest, farthest corner from everyone, usually just watching, or drawing or writing.

I was not always this way, my past is a long and hard to understand mess, but I think I say it best when I say: "A lot can change in the course of a year, and a man's entire life can change in an instant during that time." The last 18 months has changed me for the better, but has left me darker, calmer, and given me hope for the future. Most of my creativity in art comes from both the damage done, and the hope during this time.
Most people go through their lives without ever even understanding what it means to owe their lives to someone, nevermind owing their lives to someone: I owe my life and future to two people, and it is with great personal honor that I do.

As for my interests and what I am doing now. I am transferring to Washington State University at the beginning of June, majoring in Management Information Systems. Going to a 4-year university never even occurred to me before 2003, so this is quite a change for me. I love working on computers, machines such as engines and bikes, and any kind of technology. Recently I have begun getting into making music rather than just listening to it, at the moment I only have several pages of lyrics and no music, but that will change once I move out. I especially like gothic and industrial music, and I fall into the category myself with what I wear and how I act. I'd say my most important interest is spending time with friends and family and spending time on the town with them, the 'town' being Seattle, WA.

And some more about me: I'm a 20 year old, blue-green eyed man with undercut long brown hair (Soon will be having dark blue extensions put in by a friend, so it will be in foot long braids tied back.). Most people who first meet me notice I try not to smile, and if I do, it is only on one side, the right side of my face is mostly paralyzed from an injury many years ago, unfortunately many people misread this until I tell them about it. I usually speak what I feel needs to be said, rather than just sparing feelings, often people who ask for my advice recoil in shock from my 'brutal honesty' and consider me cold and uncaring, almost always they end up telling me later that my honesty helped them out. So if I do the same to someone in a responce, it's not that I don't care, it's because I *do* care. Usually I wear black cargo pants with a black shirt, though I wear grey and OD green pants and shirts fairly often. I love the night, especially the warm clear nights with a cool breeze gently blowing. (These nights would be even better if I had someone to spend them with, but I havn't had any luck there.)

I also love fire and the midieval world and when I get the chance I go to the local renaissance fairs and SCA events, I have a pirate persona in the SCA. Online I am known as Hyperion, Osiris, Eleres, and Braedan, the latter two are names of characters in books I really liked. In real life I am known as Shaun, Orrin, and Osiris, Orrin was given to me by one of the SCA women at school, and it stuck. Somewhat related to the SCA Persona I have, I love the ocean and water, something about it calls to me and calms me down when I am around it, just like a campfire's flames can captivate me for hours.

As many of my closest friends and parents know, I am gay, though technically one could say I am also bisexual, as there are a few women who I do find attractive, but not many. And as many of my friends, especially the two I owe my life to, know, this is one of the major reasons for my many attempts to commit suicide during the fall of 2003. While I have come to accept my sexuality as part of who I am during the last 18 months, my war with it is still far from over.

Anyway, yeah, that's long... If you read this and think you want to get to know me better, give me a chance.

Friends (28):

Mutual Friends (13):